So today I put an offer on a house! A beautiful, perfect little house that fits me and my budget. Exciting – so exciting, but also slightly terrifying, and so, so fast. I went to look at it yesterday and made an offer today. Bam.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fast paced person. I’m a quick learner and when I know what I want, I don’t hesitate – but for many things including, talking, walking, weeding and making decisions on what to do – my pace is set to slow/medium. I need a certain amount of time to process and churn – I create space and I savor and I linger.
So as I was driving back from the realtors office after signing the papers less than 24 hours after viewing the place, I reflected in awe of just how fast that all happened, with no time to hesitate, it was all about acting, about scoring. I have love for that intensity – the pure, primal, gut inspired action when you know what you need to do. I seek that out on the mountain in both summer and winter, on my skis or bike, and in aikido which is all about finding calm within such intensity. But I can’t help but marvel at how condensed the whole process of buying a house has become because of technology. With cell phones, email and scanners so much of those necessary steps and conversations can happen in rapid succession. Yet, as much as I know that this place is awesome and perfect and as much as I don’t want to draw out the anxiety that ensues, I still crave some time to process and to sit with this relatively large decision a little longer; to linger…to savor it even. Not that it is anywhere near over, but I can’t help but feel that the speed and ease of this initial process devalues and compromises the decision. And I’m wary because I know how easy it is to get sucked into the lure of instant gratification – to lose sight of what matters for what is easy, or shiny or present. Without sufficient time to process and sit with our decisions, I believe that their value stays on the surface level. When we trade speed for space, we lose depth.
I want to dive into this more (of course!) – what other processes have we accelerated with our instantaneous communication that are perhaps better left slow?